Home: A Never-Never Land • Ayka Go

Nov 17 to Dec 12, 2017 • Video Room

Definition of Never-Never Land: An imaginary place where everything is pleasant or perfect in a way that is impossible to achieve in real life.

A childhood diary is a written record of life’s earliest memories. It preserves the critical bits and pieces of a person’s formative years: one’s way of thinking how a person sees the world, and how an individual gains an understanding of one’s self. The years I spent as a little girl were filled with whimsical imaginations, as the world of fairytales came alive in my young mind. I was fascinated by stories of princesses that I tried to be exactly like them as I created my own fantastic universe. This mental kingdom eventually dominated my world as I became convinced that magical things and creatures really did exist, blotting out the reality of pain and suffering.

While spending most of my growing up years around the house, I developed the habit of writing and drawing on my diary. The contents are both real and surreal. Now that I am no longer that child, going back and reading my childhood diary entries fascinates me –as if that child wasn’t me, a completely different human being. And that is why maybe I keep on going back and recreating my childhood memories—because everything seemed so perfect in my own little world back then. Now that I have grown, since I have seen and gained experiences, my eyes are now open to the realities of this world. Recreating my childhood is the only way I could reconnect to my own childhood self and world.

The show is inspired by the contents of my childhood diary and drawings when I was a child. Visualizing and representing them through painting and paper sculptures. The process includes reading, interpreting, reproducing, and recreating. I read and sort out the pages of the diary that I want to interpret then I scan to reproduce the pages of my childhood diary. Since the diary itself is private, by folding the pages of the diary, the contents are concealed and revealed all at the same time. It may not be read as a literary content but rather, seen as an object already.